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My College roommate got Pneumonia once. So bad to the point that he just lived in a recliner wearing a mask for several days. He was really out of it, he couldn't even say "pneumonia" we had to write it out phonetically on a piece of paper and hang it on the wall so he could tell visitors what he had. "NEW-MOAN-YAH"  Anyways, he wasn't as bad as his dad who had his wisdom teeth removed. They where impacted pretty bad I guess. Lots of scraping and cutting of bone to get them out. One in particular was pretty bad. Anyways, this left him with severe pain and throbbing from how difficult it was for the oral surgeon to remove it. He ended up on all kinds of pain killers and such. The kind that were super effective but highly addictive. Luckily he didn't get addicted or anything, which is a good thing because another friend of mine was involved in a really bad motorcycle incident where he was on a bunch of painkillers too and he had a family friend (who I didn't know) who warned him about how addictive they were; I guess it kind of messed him up. My friend got off them as fast as he could for fear of having the same issue. Super serious stuff. Anyways my roommate's dad who was on pain killers because of the surgery. I said earlier that it was from wisdom teeth but I might be thinking of someone else... his might have been an appendix removal. Either way, 8-10 weeks after he recovered and was off the meds a large package showed up. He was super confused because he was like "WTH, I didn't order anything". So he quizzed his whole family about what they might have bought and everyone was clueless. When he opened it he found out it was a bike! Super weird since he already had a 1991 Schwinn 10 speed in the garage that he hadn't ridden since 1992. Keep in mind this is 2005 or thereabouts so it wasn't like he was an avid rider or anything. So the package being a bike really didn't help the situation. He ended up emailing the company who shipped the bike to get more information and to find out who got him a bike. After several days of back and forth he figured out that it was one of those "Auto-Shifting" bikes that were sold on infomercials in the early 2000s. When he asked who ordered it they assured  him that HE had in-fact ordered it. This blew his mind because of course he doesn't remember ordering a bike. But then it hit him: "The Painkillers". He must have been blitzed out his mind watching daytime infomercials and told himself "I should buy a bike". And so he did. I guess he said it was pretty cool, because you could  just "ride" and it would shift for you, didn't matter if you were going up hill, going slow or fast. A little gimmicky but it worked. So a few weeks go by and he hasn't ridden the bike since the initial test ride because, he doesn't really ride bikes.

Sometimes I see products like these zipper tires and go "I did not know that problem existed". And they I think about all of the stoned middle aged men who don't need them buying these things.

 

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Posted (edited)

That was some beeyouteaful prose there RedRider3141.

It was touching, but, I slapped it as soon as that happened and the touching stopped. Thank goodness.

Maybe it was the medz ....

Edited by Ridenfool

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23 minutes ago, RedRider3141 said:

My College roommate got Pneumonia once. So bad to the point that he just lived in a recliner wearing a mask for several days. He was really out of it, he couldn't even say "pneumonia" we had to write it out phonetically on a piece of paper and hang it on the wall so he could tell visitors what he had. "NEW-MOAN-YAH"  Anyways, he wasn't as bad as his dad who had his wisdom teeth removed. They where impacted pretty bad I guess. Lots of scraping and cutting of bone to get them out. One in particular was pretty bad. Anyways, this left him with severe pain and throbbing from how difficult it was for the oral surgeon to remove it. He ended up on all kinds of pain killers and such. The kind that were super effective but highly addictive. Luckily he didn't get addicted or anything, which is a good thing because another friend of mine was involved in a really bad motorcycle incident where he was on a bunch of painkillers too and he had a family friend (who I didn't know) who warned him about how addictive they were; I guess it kind of messed him up. My friend got off them as fast as he could for fear of having the same issue. Super serious stuff. Anyways my roommate's dad who was on pain killers because of the surgery. I said earlier that it was from wisdom teeth but I might be thinking of someone else... his might have been an appendix removal. Either way, 8-10 weeks after he recovered and was off the meds a large package showed up. He was super confused because he was like "WTH, I didn't order anything". So he quizzed his whole family about what they might have bought and everyone was clueless. When he opened it he found out it was a bike! Super weird since he already had a 1991 Schwinn 10 speed in the garage that he hadn't ridden since 1992. Keep in mind this is 2005 or thereabouts so it wasn't like he was an avid rider or anything. So the package being a bike really didn't help the situation. He ended up emailing the company who shipped the bike to get more information and to find out who got him a bike. After several days of back and forth he figured out that it was one of those "Auto-Shifting" bikes that were sold on infomercials in the early 2000s. When he asked who ordered it they assured  him that HE had in-fact ordered it. This blew his mind because of course he doesn't remember ordering a bike. But then it hit him: "The Painkillers". He must have been blitzed out his mind watching daytime infomercials and told himself "I should buy a bike". And so he did. I guess he said it was pretty cool, because you could  just "ride" and it would shift for you, didn't matter if you were going up hill, going slow or fast. A little gimmicky but it worked. So a few weeks go by and he hasn't ridden the bike since the initial test ride because, he doesn't really ride bikes.

Sometimes I see products like these zipper tires and go "I did not know that problem existed". And they I think about all of the stoned middle aged men who don't need them buying these things.

 

I wish I could have zipped off about half of that story. Now I have less time to get stoned and order stuff I don't need.

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